Be Thankful With Gratitude
In honor of this month being November when we celebrate “Thanksgiving” I thought what better topic to talk about than just that. Thanks giving, being grateful, gratitude. And how it can be beneficial to our emotional and physical well-being.
“Thank You!” Two little words that can mean so much — or, maybe not. I would hazard a guess to say that on occasion we all probably throw that phrase out there without much thought or feeling behind it. How so you might ask? Let me explain.
Do you remember as a young tot your parents teaching (and reminding) you to say, “Please” and “Thank you?” I know I taught my children to say it. And I do believe that it is good manners and that we should do that. But, if I am honest with myself, I’m not sure if I was always teaching them to be, “Thankful” or just teaching them good manners. I mean, really, what parent wants their children to be thought of as rude and ungrateful. I would like to think that my intentions were always for the right reason but I’m not 100% sure.
When I was about 6 years old I was excitedly waiting my turn to open my Christmas gift in front of the whole family, you know, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Grandmas and Grandpas — the whole gang. And when I finally ripped the paper off and opened the box, the only thing that popped out of my mouth was, “I already have one of these!” Well, needless to say my parents did not appreciate my candor and outright honesty!
The “talking” to I got on the way home must have made a big impression on me because when I finally had kids, they knew the drill — it didn’t matter what was in that gift when they opened it, they were expected to smile and say, “Thank You!” In fact, my children got to the point where they would pipe in and finish my little mantra before any family gathering where there would be presents. Now the goal was to teach them that even if they didn’t like what they got, they were to recognize that the gift giver thought enough of them to give them a gift and for that they were to be grateful regardless of what was inside.
So how important is it really — to actually be grateful? Robert A Emmons, Ph.D. is the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude. He is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, and the founding editor-in-chief of The Journal of Positive Psychology. He has done research and wrote many books on the subject of gratitude that reveal why gratitude is good for our bodies, our minds and our relationships. I would like to share just a couple of key points of his research.
1. Gratitude allows us to celebrate the present.
Gratitude makes us appreciate the value of something, and when we can do that, we can enjoy the benefits from it and will be less likely to take it for granted. We notice the positive
more and it allows us to appreciate the pleasures in life.
2. Gratitude blocks toxic, negative emotions.
Emotions like envy, resentment, regret can destroy our happiness. You can’t be grateful
and envious at the same time. They are incompatible feelings. Research done by Emmons’
colleagues Michael McCullough and Jo-An Tsang suggest that people who have high levels
of gratitude have low levels of resentment and envy.
3. Grateful people are more stress resistant.
An interesting finding in a number of studies showed that in the face of serious trauma,
suffering, and adversity, people that had a grateful disposition in life recovered more quick
ly. He believes that gratitude gives people a perspective which guards them against post-
traumatic stress and lasting anxiety in the midst of negative life events.
4. Grateful people have a higher sense of self-worth.
When you are grateful you have the sense that someone else is looking out for you, maybe
has provided somehow for your well-being. Being mindful of your network of relationships,
past and present — people who have helped you along the way to where you are right now.
If you can recognize the contributions that other people have made to your life because they
saw the value in you it will help you to change the way you see yourself.
Regarding that last point about self-worth. You can have just the opposite and think a little too much of yourself too. It’s all well and good to have a good healthy opinion of yourself but if it is really a healthy assessment of yourself you will realize that you didn’t get to where you are in life without someone investing something into your life to help you along the way.
There is goodness in our own personal world. We have all benefited from it in some way. It doesn’t mean that life is perfect and that we don’t have discouragements and burdens along the way. But let’s make it a habit to really be present in our daily living to recognize all the good things in life that we get to enjoy.
It can be such simple things that we take for granted each and every day. Like the next time you go to brush your teeth, take into consideration that all you have to do is turn the knob and instantly you have fresh clean water. You didn’t make that happen — it took lots of people to make that happen.
That is another part of gratitude — figuring out where the goodness comes from. When it is not because of something we did, we must acknowledge others — or even higher powers, if you are of a spiritual mindset, to give thanks to for the many gifts received, big and small, that has helped us to attain the goodness in our lives.
Gratitude takes practice just like any other skill. Thanksgiving Day is a good time to start, but don’t stop there. Keep practicing it every day so you can reap the benefits all year long. I’ll be right there with you practicing it too! And now in closing, I think it would be appropriate if I gave thanks to you, my readers, for reading my blogs. I hope you find them informational and inspiring. So, “Thank you” for checking in to see what’s new and I wish all of you a very, “Happy Thanks Giving!”
