DISTORTIONS – What Are Your Thoughts? Part 1

I’m not really sure how someone came up with this statistic but it is said that the human brain can have roughly 70,000 thoughts per day. Whew! That, is a lot of thinking isn’t it? And yes, I know you all have individuals in your life where you suspect this count to be grossly exaggerated. But, “Hey! I read it on the internet so I’m going to go with it!” 

Seriously though, I would like to talk about your daily thoughts. Just what is a thought? Basically, thoughts are just mental cognitions—your ideas, opinions, and beliefs about yourself and the world around you. Now, have you ever actually thought about your thoughts? If you haven’t, take some time to do so. Consider if you think your thoughts help you or hinder you. This blog will focus on the kind of thoughts that can hinder you or cognitive distortions to be exact.

COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS

Cognitive distortions — now there’s a term the average person doesn’t hear everyday. However, many people have them and just possibly one of them could even be you! You might be asking, “Well, what in the world is a cognitive distortion?” In really simple terms, cognitive distortions are ways that our mind convinces us of something that isn’t really true. Having these irrational thoughts and beliefs (i.e., distortions) can lead to problematic emotional states and behavior, like anxiety, low self-esteem, depression and relationship conflicts. Of course, before you can counter distorted thinking, you have to become aware that you’re engaging in it.

There are many cognitive distortions but below is a list of the 10 most common distortions based on the book from Dr. David Burns, author of the best seller “The Feeling Good Handbook.”  Ask yourself if one or more of these thinking styles could apply to you. It might be helpful to bounce a few of these off of a trusted friend as a way of “checking yourself” and remaining objective.

10 MOST COMMON COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS

1. ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING: You see things in black-and-white categories.There’s no gray in-between.  EXAMPLE:  If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.

2. OVERGENERALIZATION: You take one instance or example and generalize it to a never ending pattern of defeat.  EXAMPLE: Spilling coffee on your shirt and thinking, “This always happens to me!”

3. MENTAL FILTER: Similar to overgeneralization, you pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that muddies the entire glass of water.  EXAMPLE: Your date is late to pick you up so you think the whole night is ruined.

4. DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE: You acknowledge positive experiences but you reject them by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or another. Thereby maintaining negative thought patterns even in the face evidence to the contrary.  EXAMPLE: Your co-worker invites you to go out to lunch with other co-workers. Instead of feeling good about it you think she only asked you out of obligation. 

5. JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no solid facts that can back up your conclusions.

*Mind Reading: Believing you know what the other person is thinking and of course jumping to the conclusion that it must be in a negative light.  EXAMPLE: “The way my boss looks at me tells me he regrets hiring me.

*Fortune Telling: You tend to make conclusions and predictions with litle to no evidence and believing it to be the absolute truth. EXAMPLE: “If I show up at the party no one will talk to me.”

6. MAGNIFICATION (CATASTROPHIZING) OR MINIMIZATION:  A distortion also known as the “Binocular Trick” whereby you exaggerate or minimize the importance of things depending on your perspective.  EXAMPLE: Making a simple mistake at work and panic that you are going to be fired.

7. EMOTIONAL REASONING:  You accept your emotions as fact. EXAMPLE: “I feel so stupid, therefore I must be stupid.”

8. SHOULD STATEMENTS: Making statements to yourself (or others) about what should, ought, or must be done. When statements are applied to yourself it often leads to guilt that you can’t live up to the your expectations. When statements are applied to others and expectations are not met, disappointment sets in and can lead to anger and resentment.  EXAMPLE: “I really should exercise. I shouldn’t be so lazy.” 

9. LABELING AND MISLABELING: Basically, extreme forms of overgeneralization. After making a mistake you attach a negative label to yourself. EXAMPLE: “I’m such a stupid idiot!”  Or, in the case of mislabeling, assigning a negative label to others often in a highly emotional, colorful language when their behavior rubs you the wrong way.  EXAMPLE: “He’s nothing but a grumpy old coot!”

 10.) PERSONALIZATION: Just as the name implies, this disorder is when you take everything personally. Consistently blaming yourself (without reason) for everything that goes wrong with your life. This also includes situations where you assume you are the reason of bad moods or irritations in those around you.  EXAMPLE: “I just know it’s all my fault my friend didn’t have fun at the party.”

Certainly every human being can identify with at least a few of these distortions, if not all of them at some time or another. However, if you find yourself falling into these negative thought patterns on a regular basis it can really take a serious toll on your mental health. If left unchecked, they can lead to feelings of fear, anxiety, helplessness, and severe depression. 

Now, for some good news—once you identify your own distortions you can start to challenge them by  “talking back” to those negative thoughts. Thereby, giving yourself a chance to replace your old thinking patterns with a more rational way of thinking.

In next months blog we will explore the ways you can challenge these common cognitive distortions. Once you put into practice what you learn you can start moving away from distorted thinking and move closer to a more realistic way of viewing yourself and the world around you. However, in the meantime if you want to get started right away I am always available to talk with you. Please call me (Kris Henderson) at 616-516-1570 or click on the link to schedule an appointment. I look forward to your call!